like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you never un-have a 4some
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
