I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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