I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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