Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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