Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize