sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
