I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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