he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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