Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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