even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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