Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
