This girl is more easily done than said...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
