Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize