tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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