I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries