I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
