i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
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it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
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Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point