id be glad to
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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