It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.