We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
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Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
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Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.