you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
