Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.