I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
