I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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