Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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