Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
