are you still at the devil's house?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
