He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
