Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i out mim tonsoeep
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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