Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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