Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
