I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
