i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
