They should really pass out barf bags in church
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
