Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
