her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
