He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
did you just send me my own nude
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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