Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
