Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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