then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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