The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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