Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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