We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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