either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
