Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
