Me too!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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