We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
