i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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