You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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