Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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