no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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