This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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