i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize