I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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