Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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