I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
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Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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