don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
