Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
