dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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