Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
