Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just cut my nipple shaving
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
