Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
