mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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