so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
