A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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