obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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