I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?