i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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