I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.