There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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