I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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