If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
